Your fear of tomorrow is just your fear of yourself.

Aladin Bensassi
4 min readDec 15, 2019

If there’s one thing all of us share, it’s our infinite capacity to blame others for every little set-back we face in life.

We all have that boss we hate for making our lives hell, we all have that co-worker that tries to keep us from moving forward in our career, and more than that, we all have a long list of people that are coming between us and what we want.

I’ve lived for a long time thinking this way, and I still do at times, but if every one of us, took a deeper look within, we’d see that we are our own worst enemies.

I don’t know if it’s evolution, or self-preservation that made us this way, but we’d rather throw the blame a thousand different directions than to take some of it ourselves.

To admit that no one failed you, that you’re the one who came between you and what you desire, is something most people would never do, but in order to become a better version of ourselves, maybe we should take a deeper look every now and then, in the mirror.

You are your own worst enemy

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, that statement is true, and as for that lucky bastard out there, what are you still doing here? This is an article for broken people, written by a broken person, go away and shit rainbows or whatever you mentally stable people do.

Speaking from personal experience, and although I’ve achieved a moderate level of success in life, I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface of my true potential, and I know that this is true for most people.

Our capacity as humans to self-destruct and spit in our own eyes is legendary, as a matter of fact, I have never seen a dog buying a pack of cigarettes, nor have I ever seen a cat sabotaging its relationship because deep-deep down, it feels like it doesn’t deserve the other person, or cat in this example.

I used to party like an animal and drink my way out of a swimming pool, heck I still drink like a fish most nights, and worse than that, I used to spend money like I just stumbled onto a suitcase full of cash. That pattern of self-sabotage lasted for years, yet I was so absorbed in my own little world, that I couldn’t see I was running toward my own demise.

It took a couple of very rough years to make me reevaluate my life and understand how stupid and reckless I was, and only then have I realized that had I kept blaming life for every misfortune that befalls me, I would have never understood that I control my own fate, that I am the one that controls my future, and that whatever happens to me, I have power over it.

Your future is in your hands

We all know and understand very well, thanks to sci-fi movies, that if you traveled to the past, and changed the smallest detail, a butterfly effect will change the course of history, so how come none of us realize that if we changed a small thing in our present, we’d be changing our future too! For better or worse of course.

I used to fear the future because deep down I feared myself, I feared my actions and what I might do, and I know that a lot of people feel the same way about themselves. It’s not the uncertainty of tomorrow that terrifies us, it’s the uncertainty of our own actions.

To a certain extent, no one would fear what might come next, if they knew for sure, that they’ll always work hard, live healthily, save their money, and do everything they could to realize their potential, and why should they? That seems like a certain recipe for success, and it’s so simple too! So why do we lack the drive to follow through with it? No, it’s not a rhetorical question, I truly don’t know, but what I know is that I hold the keys to my future, in my own hands.

How to break away from the cycle

Well, you can do it the hard way, or as I like to call it “my way”, and drink your wallet empty, make some major bad investments, lose a lot of dear people in your life, almost reach financial ruin, and make some very bad life decisions, all in the span of two years, then take a step back, kick yourself in the balls, and command it with everything within you to straighten up and cut the crap, because not only do you have people that depend on you but also because you’ve noticed how lately you don’t even like to look at your own reflection. OR, you can learn from other people’s mistakes and reevaluate your life, before its too late.

Trust me, people, it took me years to get my life in order again, and to embrace my past as something that’s giving me strength today, instead of a constant reminder of my failures, so the sooner you wake up, the better your life will become.

At the end of the day, we should neither blame other people nor fear our future, because we hold the keys to both our own heaven and hell and although life at times might cloud your vision, I’d bet my neck on every one of you, that you have the strength to become someone, younger you would be proud of.

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Aladin Bensassi

Frontend engineer, avid reader, and a total tech geek.